Habits are
powerful. Unfortunately, they often are
created outside our consciousness and without our permission. However, we can consciously
change habits. Habits shape our lives far more than we realize— they are so strong,
in fact, that they can cause our brains to cling to them at the exclusion of
all else, including common sense.
At the same
time, positive habits can change our lives for the better. So how are habits created and what can we do to influence them in ourselves and our clients?
Three Parts of a Habit
The Cue: a situational trigger that is based
on a reward you are seeking.
The Routine:
a physical or emotional action you take to obtain the reward.
The Reward:
the satisfaction you get by following the habit.
The Steps to Changing a Habit
Identify the Routine:
You must identify how you go from a particular cue to the routine of the
habit and the reward it gives you.
Understand Cravings and Rewards
The first
part of a habit is the cue, but before the cue there is some type of
craving. Cravings drive habits. Understanding cravings is key to figuring
out habits. In a habit, there is a
specific reward that satisfies a particular craving. In other words, figure out what you are
getting from the habit because you ARE getting something from it!
Rewards are
powerful because they satisfy cravings. But we’re often not conscious of the
cravings that drive our behaviors. For example, when developing the air freshening
product Febreze marketers discovered that people craved a fresh scent at the
end of a cleaning ritual. They found a
craving that people were not aware of. This craving is so strong that without added scent most people do not get satisfaction from an air freshener that just removes odors from the air - they have to smell the scent! It is exactly the same phenomenon with breath freshners which can be made to eliminate odor WITHOUT any taste/scent, but no one buys them!
Most
cravings are like this: obvious in hindsight, but difficult to discern when
they are in control of your behavior. It is critical to discover the cravings
that drive habits to be able to change or create habits! To figure out which cravings are driving
particular habits, it’s useful to experiment with different rewards. For
example, say your reward is having a cookie after studying every night. The next time you study deliberately
substitute something else for the cookie such as going for a short walk or
having a cup of tea instead.
The next time
eat an apple and another time change call a friend for call, etc. What you
choose to do instead of eating a cookie is not important. The
key is to test different hypotheses to determine the exact craving that is
driving your routine. Are you
craving the cookie itself, or a break from work? If it’s the cookie, is it
because you’re hungry? (In which case the apple should work just as well.) Or
is it because you want the burst of energy the cookie provides? (And so coffee may
work just as well.) Or is it where you eat the cookie and who you are
with? Do you go to a specific place to
get and eat your cookie? If so maybe the
real craving may have to do with a desire to socialize.
As you test
four or five different rewards, use this technique to identify patterns. After each activity, note the first
three things that come to mind after your reward behavior. This can be
emotions, random thoughts, reflections on how you’re feeling, or just the first
three words that pop into your head. Then, set an alarm on your watch or
computer for fifteen minutes. When it goes off, ask yourself: Do you still feel
the urge for that cookie? The reason why it’s important to write down three
things— even if they are meaningless words— is twofold. First, it forces a momentary
awareness of what you are thinking or feeling.
By
experimenting with different rewards, you can isolate what you are actually
craving, which is essential in changing a habit.
Determine the Specific Cue for the
Habit
This is the
trigger that initiates the craving for the reward. So it is very important to learn the cues
for habits. Common cues including
being in a particular place, being with a particular person, a particular time
of time of day, a specific emotional state, etc. Asking yourself these five questions can be
very helpful for identifying cues:
Where are
you when the urge for a reward hits you?
What time is
it?
What is your
emotional state?
Who else is
present?
What did you
do right before you had the urge?
Have a Plan!
Once you
understand the habit you want to change you need to create a plan to change the
habit! The easiest way to do that is
have a specific plan of action whenever you experience the cue or cues. For example, if you smoke when you have
coffee know this and plan to do something else deliberately whenever you have a
cup of coffee. The plan is key or you
will slip right back into the old routine.
Another
example is having a few beers every night when you get home. Through the first three steps you discover
that having the beer helps you relax after a stressful day. You also learned that going for a 20-minute
walk or doing Tai Chi gives you that same reward of feeling relaxed. So now you plan to either go for a walk or
do Tai Chi ever day as soon as you get home (or even better before you get
home!).