Sunday, March 18, 2018

Emotional Resistance and How to Help Overcome it!


"The past is gone: the present is full of confusion; and the future scares the hell out of me!"  - David L. Stein

Emotional resistance is anything that causes someone to stay in their comfort zone – rather than taking action towards making a change.    It is unquestionably the elephant in the room for personal trainers and anyone who coaches people to make healthy lifestyle changes.

A person can want to change but at the same time be emotionally resistant to change.   In fact, this common.     The person knows they want to change, but their level of motivation is not as strong as their level of emotional resistance, so they stay stuck.

There are many reasons a person can be resistant to change including:
                Fear of change – staying in their comfort zone is a lot less scary than trying something new!
                They fall into the bad habit rut – change is hard, and habits must be replaced with other habits!
                They lack confidence so are afraid they will fail
                They chose short-term comfort vs long-term benefit

So what is a good coach to do?

It is all about asking the right questions and allowing a client to think without interruption.    Questions like:
                Why is your goal important to you now?
                What makes you think you need to make this change?
                What will it take for you to change?
                How can I help you get past some of the challenges you are facing?
                Imagine you have reached your goal – how would your life be different?
                If you do not change and stay where you are or get worse how will that be?
                On a 1 – 10 scale how important is it for you to make this change now?
                                If it is less than a 10 ask “what would it take for you to go up at least 1 level?”

The key is to be empathetic and focus on the client coming up with solutions for changing their lives instead of telling them what to do all the time!

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